A few years ago, my father gave me this little book called The Four Agreements. It is a type of “self help” book, although self help sounds so…clinical? I like to refer to books of this nature as food for the soul, brain food, and also good advice for life. Some of these writers in this genre that I like include Dr Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and author of The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz.
Essentially this book gives you four different “rules” that you should live by. In return, he argues, you will gain insight and live a more peaceful and happy life. These rules are nothing extraordinary, and have been said one way or another by many people before him. The nice thing about his presentation though, is that these agreements are useful to check back in with yourself…. “Am I following this agreement? Or am I acting in a way that doesn’t align with these agreements?”.
I highly recommend you READ THIS BOOK. He talks about concepts based on ancient Toltec wisdom that give you a Toltec perspective of the story of life, the Source of all, and where it is our souls stand against everything else.
But I would like to just give you the bullet points of the four agreements as even just that can give you a boost of understanding everyday.
First Agreement:
“Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”
Your words are powerful, and the thoughts behind those words are even more powerful. When we express ourselves we should speak from the heart and only truth. For me, being impeccable with my words means being honest with myself, God/the Universe, and speaking truth and beauty only. Everything else is static.
Second Agreement:
“Don’t take anything personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
It’s true. What others say it is just a reflection of their reality, and my reality in the end is what affects me. Others perspectives and options are their own. If i judge myself on others perspectives, I am not being honest and true to my perspective. I try to assess what others say, absorb it, and apply my own experience instead. This one is very hard for me, but I have seen the difference it makes when I do not take things personally. I am honestly happier.
Third Agreement:
“Don’t make assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”
You know how the saying goes…When you assume, you make and ass out of you and me. It is a universal truth. We are not Vulcans last time I checked, so we cannot read each other’s minds, and thinking that “we know” certain truths can get us in a lot of trouble. Yes, sometimes gut feelings are on point, but communicating avoids the drama on every point…I should know!
Fourth Agreement:
“Always do your best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.”
This seems like something your teacher tells you in grade school…But what happens when we don’t? I personally end up feeling gloomy, disappointed and even physically drained. My best today, is not the same as my best tomorrow. We are ever-evolving beings. As long as we work hard towards our dreams, our reality will reflect the results of our very best. When I try my best, my life feels like the best!
There it is then! The Four Agreements. Simple but true. Write them in a notebook, or on a piece of paper and stick them on your wall. They have helped me get a better grip on my feelings, my happiness and my reality.
I hope sharing these with you will do the same!
Happy day to you,
-Mensa
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