The Four Agreements: Personal Growth Tips

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books to read, deepak chopra, don miguel ruiz, God, how to be happy, how to improve your life, inspiration, magic, Mushpa + Mensa, new york times best seller list, personal growth, self care, self help, self love, source, the four agreements, tips for self care, toltec tradition, turth, universe, wayne dyer, wisdom book

A few years ago, my father gave me this little book called The Four Agreements. It is a type of “self help” book, although self help sounds so…clinical? I like to refer to books of this nature as food for the soul, brain food, and also good advice for life. Some of these writers in this genre that I like include Dr Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and author of The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz.

Essentially this book gives you four different “rules” that you should live by. In return, he argues, you will gain insight and live a more peaceful and happy life. These rules are nothing extraordinary, and have been said one way or another by many people before him. The nice thing about his presentation though, is that these agreements are useful to check back in with yourself…. “Am I following this agreement? Or am I acting in a way that doesn’t align with these agreements?”.

I highly recommend you READ THIS BOOK. He talks about concepts based on ancient Toltec wisdom that give you a Toltec perspective of the story of life, the Source of all, and where it is our souls stand against everything else.

But I would like to just give you the bullet points of the four agreements as even just that can give you a boost of understanding everyday.

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First Agreement:

“Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

Your words are powerful, and the thoughts behind those words are even more powerful. When we express ourselves we should speak from the heart and only truth. For me, being impeccable with my words means being honest with myself, God/the Universe, and speaking truth and beauty only. Everything else is static.

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Second Agreement:

“Don’t take anything personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

It’s true. What others say it is just a reflection of their reality, and my reality in the end is what affects me. Others perspectives and options are their own. If i judge myself on others perspectives, I am not being honest and true to my perspective. I try to assess what others say, absorb it, and apply my own experience instead. This one is very hard for me, but I have seen the difference it makes when I do not take things personally. I am honestly happier.

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Third Agreement:

“Don’t make assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”

You know how the saying goes…When you assume, you make and ass out of you and me. It is a universal truth. We are not Vulcans last time I checked, so we cannot read each other’s minds, and thinking that “we know” certain truths can get us in a lot of trouble. Yes, sometimes gut feelings are on point, but communicating avoids the drama on every point…I should know!

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Fourth Agreement:

“Always do your best: Your  best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.”

This seems like something your teacher tells you in grade school…But what happens when we don’t? I personally end up feeling gloomy, disappointed and even physically drained. My best today, is not the same as my best tomorrow. We are ever-evolving beings. As long as we work hard towards our dreams, our reality will reflect the results of our very best. When I try my best, my life feels like the best!

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There it is then! The Four Agreements. Simple but true. Write them in a notebook, or on a piece of paper and stick them on your wall. They have helped me get a better grip on my feelings, my happiness and my reality.

I hope sharing these with you will do the same!

Happy day to you,

-Mensa

What to Read Next: The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

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ancient births, ancient history, ancient menstruation, ancient women, anita diamant, bible births, bible literature, bible story, birth, blood, book about ancient women, book about periods, Feminism, genesis 34, herstory, jacobs daughter, leas daughter, literature, love, magic, midwifery, moon cycles, novel, periods, rape of dinah, the red tent, women cycles, women literature, women of the bible

I must admit I do not devour books. Reading was not something I grew up with as a child, but I have learned to become a better reader over time. Every time I finish a book, I find some sort of peace. I seek out knowledge through books, and I try to read a little every day. Sometimes though, a book captures me in such a way, that I become obsessed with the world inside it. I live it, I dream about it, think about it and it consumes me. The Red Tent was one of these books.

The subject matter? Women of ancient times. Specifically one woman: Dinah, mentioned only once in the Bible in the Book of Genesis. Her story comes to life. Her youth, her traditions, and the red tent. A place where women of ancient civilizations used to gather during the new moon, to observe their menses, and bring ritual and in some cases honor the life bearing blood that fills wombs every month.

Not only did the story of Dinah, daughter of Lea, Rachel, Zilpah and Bilhah bring knowledge of ancient womanhood practices, including midwifery and births, marriage, sex, and a young girls turning of age through her period. My journey with these women, made me understand the strength of the covens that formed during times where their stories, and names were barely mentioned.

This story is rooted on the Bible story of “The Rape of Dinah” in Genesis 34, where the episode of her violation by Shechem is later avenged by her brothers Simeon and Levi on the city of Hamor, father of Shechem.

The Bible is a book where the female is scantly sacred, where lineage is remembered by fathers, and where the births of sons is most honorably, and women’s honor is due for the rise of power for man and tribe. Anita Diamant transforms the stories of Laban, Rachel, Lea, Jacob and Joseph and flips it on its head. She remains true to the old written word, but delves into a world lost by time filling in the gaps of Dinah’s story.  A woman’s world where magic, wisdom, strength and faith are rooted on the spirit of the female.

I give praise to The Red Tent, for it gave me sight into a world where eyes need to go, where women ought to be honored, and most of all remembered.

If you love history, if you want knowledge of ancient womanhood, and if you want to dive deep into a story of love, magic and blood, then I invite you to open the pages of this book.

Thank you to the author, and thank you to Dinah, whatever your real story may have been, today we remember you had a story too, and we honor your story now.

With love,

-Mensa

The BEST Women’s March Speeches Breaking Down the Truth. Amen.

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action, activism, america ferrera, ashley judd, call congress, democracy, democracynow!, fired up, gloria steinem, human rights, inspiration, michael moore, Mushpa + Mensa, nasty woman, nina donovan, resistance, revolution, run for office, save america, stand united, trump, we the people, we will not step back, what can i do, women rights, Women's March

We are fired up!

This is such a special time in our American History, and I am proud to be alive in these times. The Women’s March on Washington is most likely going to go down in our history books as the start of another wave of feminism, and this time, WE WILL NOT STEP BACK.

Mushpa + Mensa were unable to hitch a ride to DC, and maybe all happened for a reason. We were meant to stay at our own city rally in Wilmington, NC. We stayed in our home town, made signs, and shouted, chanted, and participated in the Wilmington’s Sister Women’s March. What a phenomenal experience. Even more amazing was coming back home and seeing the pictures and videos of ALL THOSE WOMEN. Men and children also there supporting. Political figures, icons, celebrities, artists, and humans from all walks of life. All these little pink hats, all these powerful signs. So much to say, yet such unity in our voice. Despite the hiccups of  what it means to be part of this march (Can a pro-lifer still be a feminist? Is there space for white woman oppression?) the energy was ONE.

I am so proud of all of us. This light inside me grows. The strength in me grows, and so does the motivation. We are awake, and ready to go.

Despite not being in Washington physically, our collective energy filled every corner of the world, from Berlin, to Paris, from London to Costa Rica. This is not an American movement. This is WORLD WIDE.

The internet has united us, and I have witnessed some amazing and moving moments from the Women’s March. Here a few favorites. I hope you play them, enjoy them, and let them fill you with hope, motivation, and furious energy to fight this culture of hate, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia and darkness that has crept up to a mainstream platform.

Without further ado, press play, and may the force be with you.

-Mensa

“We too must stand united….if we fall into the trap of separating ourselves by our causes and our labels, then we will weaken our fight, and we will lose. But if we commit to what aligns us, if we stand together steadfast and determined, then we stand a chance at saving the soul of our country.” -America Ferrera

“I’m not nasty like the combo of Trump and Pence being served up to me in my voting booth. I’m nasty like the battles my grandmothers fought to get me into that voting booth…We are here to be respected. We are here to be nasty!” -Nina Donovan interpreted by Ashley Judd

“We are the people. We have people power, and we will use it…This is the upside of the downside. This is an outpouring of energy and true democracy like I have never seen in my very long life. It is wide in age, it is deep in diversity, and remember: the constitution does not begin with “I the president”, it begins with “We the People.” So do not try to divide us…” -Gloria Steinem

The 4 things we need to do according to Michael Moore:

1. Call Congress every single day (1 rep in the house, 2 senators) 202-225-3121

2.  JOIN A GROUP!

3. Form your own rapid response team: people that you will call, when we need to move fast. 10 people

4.Form regions of resistance. Blue states and cities. The country will follow your lead!

5. YOU have to RUN for OFFICE!

Just Sayin’

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Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Cara Reynolds, Leonardo Da Vinci, Nelson Mandela, quotes

Some inspiration from them to me to you.

-Mushpa

 

 

We Got Into the Leaf Festival

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art, artist, Cara Reynolds, clay bead necklace, clay beads, crafts, DAS, diy, eco-friendly, etsy, fashion, fear, felt, gay, God, God is a Woman, handmade, Happiness, homemade, jewlery, Leaf Festival, lesbian, love, Maria Emilia Borja, Mensa, Mushpa, Mushpa Y Mensa, North Carolina, organic, queer, screen printing, stuffed animal

We got into the Leaf Festival. I was unaware of how much I was pulling away from faith, mysticism and the Truth until I watched this video. I have been worrying about bills, money, and bullshit and forgetting about miracles, beauty and truth. Logistics are a lie. I am blessed and amazing and God is good. I’ve got nothing to worry about.

Everything is better than okay. I got into the Leaf Festival and have nothing to fear but fear itself.

:]

-Mushpa

My Criminal Mind

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1956, Cara Reynolds, Criminal Minds, Criminal Minds Quotes, Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself, Jean Stein, Jefferson, literature, Mississippi, North Carolina, quote, The Paris Review interview, The Sound and the Fury, Wallace, William Faulkner, Writers at Work

Last night I was watching Criminal Minds. It is great-ish show. I have a somewhat odd interest in serial killers, sociopaths, psychopaths, and the un-rested. At times I have to mute it and look away, which thankfully confirms I am not a sociopath. ;]

I am interested in things that are a conundrum of the norm. Events, circumstances and people that make me question, that propel me to discover more through knowledge and my own truth that comes from wherever it comes from. I also like the nerd factoids and of course the quotes.

On to the point, this was a long intro to basically let people know that I am going to start posting some of the quotes from this show on a regular basis. Yes, I am that nerdy. B] I like quotes because they inspire me not only to be different, but get me interested and/or remind me of people, books, periods that help me evolve, to understand things, and to not feel so alone in this world. They move me. Anything that gets me to pick up a book is a good thing.

The quote from last night I am posting is by William Faulkner.

“Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”   –  William Faulkner (The Paris Review interview (1956) with Jean Stein; later published in Writers at Work)

Anyway…hope you are into it. I am going to read, “The Sound and the Fury” because of this and because I am living in rural North Carolina, I know nothing about Jefferson, Mississippi and my cat’s name is Jefferson, so let’s do this.

– Mushpa

You are Oceanic

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art, artist, beauty, Cara Reynolds, evolution, gay, growth, Happiness, lesbian, love, Maria Emilia Borja, Mensa, Mushpa, Mushpa Y Mensa, ocean, poetry, queer, self esteem, self respect, Soutrik Das, spirit, Tapiwa Mugabe, You are Oceanic

Artist Soutrik Das

 

All she wanted was to find a place to stretch her bones.

A place to lengthen her smiles

and spread her hair

a place where her legs could walk without cutting and bruising

a place unchained.

She was born out of ocean breath.

I reminded her;  ‘Stop pouring so much of yourself into hearts that have no room for themselves

do not thin yourself, be vast.

You do not bring the ocean to a river.’

– Tapiwa Mugabe, You are Oceanic

I Am Happy America Won Yesterday!

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A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, American, art, belonging, Country, futbol, loyalty, mark twain, mark twain A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, quote, Republic of Ghana, soccer, USA, World Cup, World Cup 2014

Americans are funny. I went out with Mensa and a bunch of friends yesterday to watch the World Cup in a mammoth of a sports’ bar, America was playing the Republic of Ghana. It was interesting to me how the men were all rooting for the USA. All America boys of all colors, religion and race, but the All-American girls kept saying to me they hope Ghana wins. I thought, that’s so strange. Mensa for one, growing up a few years in Ecuador, would never had said I hope Switzerland wins this last Sunday, what made her wish a country she knows nothing about, never visited, nor befriended anyone from would win over a country she is a citizen of and has lived in longer than anywhere else, including Ecuador? What is it that makes so many “liberal” ladies (and feminist men) so anti-American? It reminded me of this Mark Twain quote from his book, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court: “My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one’s country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death.”

Our government and corporations in America are in a horrible state of affairs for the time being; it is very true that something needs to be done about that, but that has nothing to do with soccer. Our soccer players are not billionaire baseball, football or basketball stars making a fafillion dollars off of corporate money (Only 4 US Major League Soccer players make over a million dollars. The league’s average base salary is $186,258, while the league minimum is $36,500. The minimum salary of a Major League Baseball player is $500,000 while the average salary in 2013 was $3.3 million.). They are Americans, representing us, the people, not the institutions or politicians of this country, so let it go and like every other countryperson let’s root for our team. Trust me, they need all the help they can get. ;]

Go USA!

– Mushpa

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Mensa Responds:

I struggled with the idea of belonging, like many people do. I belonged to one country when I was born, when I grew up, and then I moved, and didn’t belong anymore. I moved here, and that’s where I finished growing up, but I didn’t fully belong, I just got used to it. And here is where I find myself, not truly belonging anywhere, yet struggling to find where I fit. And I’ve done this, and had this conversation with many people, discovered different ways of aligning myself with people who struggled with the same issue, finding niches but then getting knocked out of them because, there again, I found something that wasn’t quite right. The loyalty I have to the country I was born in, I find that it might be only there because my family is still there, maybe. I don’t think that I would be as loyal, as connected if everyone lived here. I am loyal to my childhood, because that’s what I experienced there, and my childhood was pure, and simple. I am loyal to those memories. I always hated growing up, dreaded the idea of growing up, and I did that here, in this country, in a very different place. A place with many virtues, but also many flaws. But I grew up, and I learned and struggled to cope with those flaws, focusing more on them rather than seeing the virtues and privileges I was given by this land. Now that feeling still lingers. After being here longer than anywhere else, I still haven’t let myself fully belong. Because it’s political, it’s social, it’s controversial, it’s trendy, it is what progressive thinkers do. But it is not progress. Hate, criticism, protests, it is not progress. Hate speech, controversial conversations, protest songs, and open discourses, all done in closed minded environments, are not progress, they are words. Words have been powerful over the centuries, but it is also what has enslaved us, as we have taken words to be truth rather than, just thoughts, which derive from experiences, which are just a direct reflection of our actions.

I don’t know if any of this is making sense now, but I struggled rooting for the team yesterday. I knew I fucked up saying I was rooting for the other team, it was not right, it was not my land, not my country. And I tried to get excited and stay in the game, with my now land’s team, but something felt off. Something didn’t fit. All that hate speech, those controversial conversations, those protests songs, and discussions, have tainted the soul of this land, and my own soul, as if someone other than human beings live here. It’s so tainted, its so ingrained in my brain, that I could not root for my own team, a team made up of MANY different people, all who once and maybe still didn’t feel like they belonged. I felt uncomfortable celebrating this success. But the truth of the matter is that yes, the tainted words from the criticism of the institutions have mangled the spirit of loyalty and solidarity of all people, all human people in this land. The truth is that not only are these institutions, the ones we normally think of, media, religion, or institutions of racial-gender-and socio-economic inequalities, so prominent. Something else has brewed up.  Something much uglier and complicated, that has lead us to believe that we are having conversations about progress, when we are only alienating each other more and more to the point where no one truly belongs, anywhere. I should not feel like this. It is not fair.

Yet I am guilty. I struggle to be loyal to the rest of the souls of this world.

 I will have to fix this.

-Mensa

This Letter

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alexis, Cara Reynolds, Grace Frick, lesbian, Marguerite Yourcenar, Maria Emilia Borja

Marguerite Yourcenar and Grace Frick

“This letter, my dear, will be very long. I am not very fond of writing. I have often read that words falsify thought, but it seems to me that written words falsify it even more: you know how little is left of a text after two successive translations. Then too, I do not know how to go about it. Writing is a perpetual choice between a thousand expressions, none of which satisfies me, none of which, above all, satisfies me without the others. Yet I ought to know that only music permits such a succession of chords. A letter, even the longest, is obliged to simplify what should not have been simplified: one is always so much less clear the minute one tried to be complete. I should like to make here an effort not only of sincerity but also of precision: hence, these pages will contain many erasures; they do already. What I would ask of you (the only thing I can still ask of you) is not to skip over any of these lines which have cost me so much. For it is difficult to live. It is even more difficult to explain one’s life.”

– Marguerite Yourcenar, “Alexis”

I like it because it’s true and I like to read it over and over again and go, “Yeah…“. :]

– Mushpa

The Thing About Pain

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Amsterdam, An Imperial Affliction, Augustus waters, cancer, cancer survivor, Cara Reynolds, clinically depressed, expatriate American, John Green, literature, pain, stage IV, stage IV–cancer survivor, The Fault in Our Stars

Truth.

-Mushpa